There are times when we criticized ourselves too hard.. I myself have a problem with self acceptance and I'm my own worst critic.. EVER.. I sometimes find that it's hard to feel good about myself .. It's not that I'm pessimistic (although I know I am .. a bit..) but looking myself lacking certain values from other people can look pretty much discouraging.. It's a struggle especially when it comes to presenting myself to other people..
Like one time.. I was approached by this gorgeous guy while I'm still working at MLNG.. I know that I like him so much and I really hope that one day I will have a date with him.. But then when I finally have 1 , I can't feel good as I constantly beating myself up with "what would I do to look perfect to him.. I can't afford myself to look like a fool infront of him..??" Therefore I began to switch myself to otherwise a different girl.. which btw turns out to be blah.. I can't even hold on to a conversation let a lone enjoying my dinner 'coz of my I-want-to-look-perfect composure.. In the end , I ended up screwing my date.. Am sure he doesn't really enjoy going out with me , coz that's the last time we go on a dinner together.. and that's a lost cause...
So .. after that disaster , I began to just let myself think : There's something I cannot change about myself.. Like if I were someone who love to laugh out loud , then just laugh the hell out.. Don't do that control ayu thingy.. And alhamdulillah.. to my surprised , I progressed.. Though there is a time I begin to beat myself up again.. :-P
There you go.. Acceptance DO allows changes.. Accept yourself for who you are and try not to judge yourself too hard.. Love yourself a lot.. ;-)
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