Thing I regretted the most.. - A confession

I went on my usual blog lurking through me friend's page - Amli who's apparently always has a brilliant post.. (To be frank, I like him more than blog serious..) When I scrolled down the dashboard containing all Amli's latest posts, I stumbled upon one post entitled "50 people , 1 question" (read here) ,  I felt I had to click on that.. The video went on and I was stunned in front of my laptop with awe..
So there I was still in front of my laptop (even after the video is finished) pondering the same question.. "What is the thing in your life that you regretted the most".. Honestly speaking , there are A LOT of things I've regretted doing in the past.. But I have to say, if Dr. Emmett "Doc" of Back to The Future really is here , I wanted to go back to the times when I was still in the middle of college dilemma back in early 2002 and rushed to my own self and said that JMTI choice was a NO-NO..

I always regard my college days were nothing more than misery and discontentment.. I was misunderstood , isolated and shunned by most of the college populations.. Although it is painful for me to admit it , I was never the popular person in college , instead I was perceived as an awkward and often a victim of ignorant people.. It was hurtful when people ganged up on me because I was different..

I was brought up in school as a proactive student who tends to ask a lot of questions in class and enjoy engaging a conversation with my teachers.. To my surprise people in my college (especially the ladies) saw that as a bad thing , probably seems conceited.. I thought it was okay just to ignore them morons but when my own friend who knows me since highschool not only turned her back against me , she's also joined in the pack, agreeing whatever the morons have to say about me , even if they weren't true..

Getting tangled by so much misery , I got myself involved with unhealthy relationship with 1 guy.. Although my family has stressed out so many times , over and over again that the guy was a bad news I just wouldn't listen to them.. Probably I took comfort of knowing there will be someone who would stick by my through thick or thin , even if it was not entirely genuine .. Whatever it is , I THANK GOD that I was able to get myself out from the relationship without doing myself any harm..

I still carry the painful past of my time in college days till now.. Still not fully recovered.. I try to make peace with my past by staying connected with college friends in facebook (I know it's not a good idea , but I thought it's a perfect way to face the demon of my past..) but then... they still saw me as someone they perceived almost 9 years ago...........

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
All I want back then was to be accepted ... :-(